November 22, 2019


Still trying to figure out this process.

1. This is the day John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas Texas in 1963. I was a first year fine art student then at the School of The Art Institute of Chicago. When I heard he was murdered I said to my friend Margaret McKenna - I bet Jackie Kennedy is trying to choose a frock to wear for the funeral. That is a paraphrase but Margaret used to keep notes on what I said exactly but it was sarcastic Jackie was  fashionista in those days. We were in drawing class drawing a pile of dusty junk three hours a day twice a week for 18 weeks. Again that may be incorrect or not exactly so but nearly so the art teacher was hardly present name lost in my memory. Classes were dismissed and I rode home on the elevated train.

2. Talked with my son Sam. On his birthday November 17 last week. I asked him when his younger daughter Brooklyn was born he said December 7 2017. I said Wow Pearl Harbor Day ! Sam had no idea what happened that day. He is 36 years old and lives in Colorado. He works in the I T industry, I was surprised having been born myself at the end of 1944 I grew up in the shadow of World War 2. 

3, Heard from my old friend Mike Brehm on email he sent me quite a number of drawings dozens really as jpegs. His address was in Lawrence Kansas. I called Andy Baird about this email as he was a friend of Mike too. Mike published a zine named Storyhead. He worked     with Andy and I on Artpolice Journals for many years he was based in Chicago . He had been here in Minneapolis but he had a terrible fire in his loft studio and went back to Chicago. He is one of the best artists I know one of our aces at Artpolice.

4. Saw my oncologist after my last scan my renal cancer has not been growing since the scan before this one. The immunotherapy seems to have stopped the disease for now I will get another scan in February. My wife Pamela who has been my primary caregiver has a science background and is able to help me understand this all. Without her love and care I most likely would have died last year. She is a fine artist and has some of her beautiful portraits installed in the offices and conference room of our Attorney General Keith Ellison in the state capital building in St. Paul . The photos of the installation opening show an exquisite installation with friends of Pamela and diverse works on the pale orange walls. Pamela was also the curator of the exhibition and it exhibits her work in a context that is extraordinary nearly filmic in it’s sensibility the works are open to public view til late January. I look forward to visiting the installation and visiting the gorgeous old building. You can get more information by looking up Pamela Gaard on your browsers her web site is very useful to see her paintings and installations . 

5.  Still confused about how to put jpgs on my blogs.

 6. Looking forward to Thanksgiving with my wife my lover my svit hot. 

 7. Reading Harold Bloom again he died recently and I was excited read about him and his works again. Also reading Camille Paglia again who studied with Bloom and was pretty much his antithesis. Both brilliant writers very inspiring. Also reading some Nietzsche again his first book that I first read in California in 1967 which still lights my fire today. Also thinking about photography again and working on collages montages and painting just enough to stay in touch. 

 8. The winter is here again very thrilling in a strange way I missed the seasons so much out West. Winter here is like Siberia like Finland or Norway minus the mountains. In touch with my old friend James Hayward who is suffering very much writing his gonzo art fiction I was happy that Pamela got to meet Jim when he was here last year showing his Stations of The Cross at University Gallery in Collegeville the catalog is very modest and very wonder filled. Jim’s mentor Ed Moses died last year and I think it has been very hard for Jim a world without Ed Moses in it. The fires out West were in Simi Valley near Hayward’s ranch. He was ok but it is sad times to know so many forests are burning everywhere on earth.

 9. Pamela and I attended the award dinner for our friend Jim Denomie at the University Art Museum. For Pam and I it was our first real night out since I fell and broke my neck . Pamela looked so good so herself it was a very sweet affair. Good food too very wonderful Salmon and good company we drove back on Franklin Ave through Pam’s old haunts in Seward neighborhood and past the area I had lived in when I was near the river there  way years back.Pamela worked with many Somali people and most especially with elders ,women and she found the artist Hassan Nor an 80 year old gentleman from Somalia , Nor is not well. But his art is spellbinding the Minneapolis Institute of Art has acquired several art works with considerable help from Pamela. Indeed they owe her for finding him a debt of heart and soul. When I say Pamela is  curator and an artist I mean that sincerely and she is a healer. We worry about Hassan Nor he is on Franklin Avenue but his heart is in Somalia . 

10. Still estranged from my children as a result of trouble with my outbreak of my bi-polar disorder when I was taking steroids for side effects from cancer treatments. It has been very sad and very painful for Pamela who has stuck with me through some very difficult times and been my love and my hope. It has been painful for us both and how will we handle the snow? I am thankful to Pamela for still being in this world. And I pray we can find the strength to continue together for whatever time we have. But as the song says with a little help from our friends and the blessings of this new year and prayer and dreams and wishes and love sweet love that makes this life worth living.