Rafi & Angela / at the end of the world


 OK proceeding carefully due to malfunctions and my own daydream of arting. When I was younger I was obsessed with the idea of the end of the world. Most especially when I was psychotic and pre-post psychotic in the mid 1970's. I became obsessed with Hebrew Mysticism and the Kabbalah. I have a small library of books just on this subject area. The thing about this obsession was it was really a symptom of my crisis in life. I was at an odd crossroads where all the options were onerus. `When I was in the psych hospital in Golden Valley the place was like a Spa, very Suburban very beautiful setting near Wirth Park and Twin Lake. I was ill but not gone forever like a few patients. No it was a sort of vacation albeit with anti-psychotic meds and choral hydrate drops for sleep. A dark sleep without a dream. But I'm a trusting fellow so I took the regime I played along I became sane again albeit sad very darkly sad, bereaved for the lost of frankie's psychic virginity, Praise Thorazine and all her derivatives all of which I became allergic too. Thorazine is the antidote to mania, sometimes in huge doses. My mother was treated with shock which would kick her back into life, see had meds later in the 1950's and early 1960's shock treatments were standard practice. The thorazine has a side effect of sensitivety to light and since the time my exposure I have become ever more sensitive to light and have had dry eye and other problems, always wear shades and I never wore shades before Thorazine. So this obsession with the Kabbalah was very intense for several years several notebooks full of drawings and notes, pictures of Sefiroth (The Tree of Life { sometimes supposed to be the tree that Eve picked the apple from in Genesis} sometimes called the Tree of Faces). And though my interest remains at the time of my episodes of manic- depressive seizures I was most obsessed with Kabbalah. The conclusion I reached was that I crisis in the psyche is very complete breakdown of your body and soul. I found comfort in this material in the notion of a search for hidden mysteries for wisdom for answers to basic human questions about existense. And that line in Hamlet to Horatio about "dreamt of in your philosophies"  the mystical remains.

 Portraits above most recent December 2012 - both commissions - Rafi left (marriage portrait) Angela right Walker Auction commission The portraits have a similar appearence of small pony heads each pony a philosopher.  studio view