Freud helped me understand that death had some positive aspects. Of course like life insurance you don't get the pay off. So we have this short life or sweet spot where we do our art, til arthritis do us part. To be square I'm an artist who paints, draws and writes. Not the mere painter I once was. Though I love so color much I can't really join the Duchamp gang as anti-retinal philosophy. It's akin to Jackson Pollock's muted natural colors , it is a ways to rein in color by keeping to the earth colors greys and blues. It is like a readymade harmony which you could almost put in a bottle. And it was the back drop of much work made in the 1920's & 1930's a palette that is limited to give the idea in a work more room to function. This had happened with cubism too this limited harmonic and monochromatic de-emphasis on color which does focus one's gaze. After many years going to see a psychiatrist I decided it was not helping me and it was taking up alot of time. Like school somethings just get dragged out past reason. Death and art remain in a deep embrace it's the temporary nature of our existences including the lengthy childhoods which makes us things will just go on and on as if our life is forever as long as we are alive. And when we vanish it is as if we never were save our works. Which is why the anxiety about these works. So Freud seems to say that the answers require this analysis but it seems this analysis gave way to drugs years ago. So it's all the more difficult to find someone to listen to you that is until you reject the talk as tautological. The blessing the good luck only goes so far the horizon is bleak, the mind needs a means to understand it's vanishing. Art great art is the trace of this travel into what is what might be - it's the reason for philosophy and it's entertainment that never goes away.
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